January 17, 2022

In Celebration of Our Humanness

Last month, my father suddenly died of a Covid-induced heart attack.

The next day, I got severe food poisoning.

The next day, my car was stolen–the one I had just finished paying off.

The next day, my health crashed.

How could it not?

We don’t all live like this: like Icarus.

But, for those of us who do; this newsletter is for you.

The Unbearable Becomes Bearable

No one told me that it would be literally hard to breathe when a parent dies. Grief is anaphylactic for me. I was estranged from my parent. Complicated grief is hard to map on the body. My mind feels, dare I write, the same as when I read the headlines of the Sunday paper, and yet, my body feels unbearable. And somehow, the titration towards bearable is possible.

Drinking Water Helps

I think I’ve been crying on the inside, and it’s dehydrating. I am mostly water. I am mostly rivers and oceans. “Emotions are the water of the body.” That is a teaching I received from a Lakota elder. So, I am mostly emotions learning how to be the earthy banks for the sea.

In Celebration of our Humanness

Science-based culture, or the culture of my mind, aims to define the mystery–my faith is anemic. My mind rattles away day and night trying to figure out the reason for so much physiological mayhem. I want a schedule for my healing. I wonder why I am not better equipped to live in the mystery. Our (my) humanness cannot be domesticated by science (my mind).

Tender Skins Need Thick Coats

I am focusing on my healing right now. No new appointments will be posted on my website for the time being. All appointments scheduled will be put on hold until I am able to return to work. If you have a scheduled appointment and it was missed or is coming up, you will receive an email with some options for next steps. Thank you for your patience. Thank you for your understanding. Thank you for being in the mystery with me.

Some of you have so generously, kindly, and unexpectedly reached out asking how to help financially support my son and myself during this time.

For those of you who wish to my Venmo is: @Shayne-Case and my PayPal is: shayne@shaynecase.com